The inspiration for my work:

While I worked at hospice, I came across an article written by a hospice nurse in the U.K. (Bonnie Ware) who summed up the five most common regrets the dying. I will outline the key regrets here but please do read the entire article here. My sincere hope is that through psychotherapy, we are able to live more fully and avoid these devastating regrets.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Many of us, unknowingly, saddle ourselves with ideas of who/what we are supposed to be and over time, forget what it feels like to truly hear our truth. The author says that this is the most common regret she heard. She says: “When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”

2. I wish I didn't work so hard. (Or, I wish I was present with myself for the most important moments or opportunities in my life)

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

”Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win. “

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. (Or, it’s really about healthy human connections)
In the end, what matters is the human connections we choose to cultivate in life.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

”This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

She ends the article with:

”Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”